Let's Make Some Nazis.... (awkward pause)

People say that you have to watch what you say in front of kids... and USUALLY i'm really REALLY good at it. I don't curse, I dont make them feel bad, I don't talk trash about other people in front of them.. but for some reason, I say completely inappropriate things... and I DON'T MEAN TO! :(

EXAMPLE 1:
background: I'm getting some kids lined up and ready to go home. I'm having them get their backpacks and jackets. I always like to add the "O" sound to the end of words because i'm juvenile and a loser. (like SUP DAVE-O!)
What I Should Have Said: "Alright get your stuff together, it's time to go home!"
But instead, I said: "Alrighty guys.. It's time to go HOMO!!!!!" *insert awkward pause*

EXAMPLE 2:
background: Mal and I are doing a sewing project with the kids and I'm helping all of them end their project, so I have to tie knots at the end. At this point in time, I was really into adding the "E" to the end of words. (like "JESSSS-YYY")
What Should Have Happened: Kid- "Can you help me make some knots?" Jess- "Sure sweetheart"
But Instead: Kid- "Can you help me??" Jess- "Sure, Let's make some NAZIS!!!" (who knew that knots + the E sound would make nazi?) *jess walks away quietly*

EXAMPLE 3:
background: the kids were playing a light game of baseball and since there was an extra bat, I decide to pick up the bat and stand at the opposite side of the gym, ready to hit the ball when the kid swings his bat. (I really don't know why I would do that)
What Should Have Happened: Let them play ball by themselves. And i quietly watch on the side.
But Instead: Kid- "JESS! WHAT ARE YOU DOING OVER THERE???" Jess- "GETTING READY TO HIT CONOR'S BALLS!!!!" *child throwing a ball in the air turns to me with a "what the hell?" face*

EXAMPLE 4:
background: a kid had me hold on to these little balls because they were his friend's. but before he he came to ask for them back, his friend already asked for them back, so i gave it to him.
What Should Have Happened: "Jess, Do you have the thing I gave you?" Jess-"Oh No, I already gave it to your friend"
But Instead: "Jess Do you have the thing I gave you?" Jess- "Oh I already gave blue balls to him" *hoping that Kindergartners just don't get it.."

see?? I'm not sure exactly how that happens... it's like you don't mean to say things like that... but words come out weird!!! sometimes, i dont even know how that happens haha. OY!

gotta start getting ready, have a great day! -J