my make up.
holy good god! I was freaking out! I couldn't believe I had to last TWO whole days without make up. 48 hours... could i last?
As I pondered that night what I would do for the next two days, i contemplated not even taking off my make up that night... possibly trying to just leave my eyeliner on over night. (am I kidding myself?) Then I begged Felix to go with me to the drugstore so I can just pick up some concealer.
Then I thought, GET A GRIP, woman! My face is still my face!!! I can't believe how dependent I've become on make up. So much that I was willing to spend 10 dollars on stuff I already have or to sleep with all my make up on my face!? (I even thought sharpie might work as liner too...)
The first 24 hours were pretty rough for me. I was constantly self conscious of how I looked. I would pinch my cheeks over and over again to hope and get some color on there. It didn't help that Felix kept asking me if I was okay because I looked extra pale. (LOL he never makes the situation better!!!) And then I told him, I told you blush and bronzer make a huge difference!
Hour 24 to 36 became a little better. I realized that no one really noticed when I did or didn't have make up. I became a little more comfortable in my skin... and then I felt so ashamed that I have this 20 minute routine EVERY morning and can't live without doing it. How my whole world is turned upside down without that routine.
Can you believe make up has that much power?
Hour 36 to 48 I completely forgot that I didn't have any make up on. I remember accidentally rubbing my eye and thinking OHH! not to worry! SMUDGE PROOF since i have no make up on!! whoohoO! and life became a little better.
Then I realized how free I felt... how natural I felt... how it didn't matter, make up or not... everyone still saw me the same way... I'm still me. I think I might need to keep my make up off more often to remind me of these moments.